Red Nova is running an article about scientists examining the possibility that events in the world effect (or are predicted by) a random number generator. I haven’t checked the credentials of the scientists involved, nor do I care to. The fact is I’ve believed the basic premise of this article for several years, and I find nothing terribly surprising in it — except that it’s taken this long to figure out how to detect the phenomenon. I’ve have no idea how the universe operates for the rest of you, but my particular version has been surreal for decades, and this article just points out one of the more obvious oddities of it.

Those who know me, will tell you I’m a Buddhist. Those who’ve known me a long time, will tell you I’m absurdly lucky. Maybe two people in the world know that I’m deeply troubled by the latter, which basically forms part of the reason for the former. I’ve always had the sneaking suspicion that either: I have no actual free-will, my free-will and predestination work in alternation, or there is something deeply wrong with the universe. Assuming I have no free-will, no worries it’ll all work out in the end. If I have free-will, but sometimes predestination kicks in, I’m going to get it for slacking off so much. And in the third case, I’ve been mucking with my Karma for a long time now, and payback is going to be a bitch.

The good news is that as far as new-age wackiness goes, this one has been around for a couple thousand years and forms a reasonable part of Buddhist thought. The concept underlies a lot of people’s superstitious behavior (and forms the basis for our concept of the Karma Dogs). I’ve believed in universal consciousness (and one’s ability to access it) for years, and happily I’m still able to (minimally) function as a member of society.

I hope that this article sounds like just so much nonsense to you and that your universe makes more sense than mine. If that’s the case, I envy you — I’d like to feel that way; it would fit into the mental model I was taught to believe in much better. As it stands, I’ve lost too much sleep over this problem to be surprised now.

I’m just back from meeting up with my friend Jen for a quick cup of coffee. In a humorous replay of our college selves of fifteen years ago, we bummed off to the Amphora a few blocks from her parents place in Vienna, Va. True to form, we had a little hummus, a little coffee and caught up on life, love, and careers — this time it was my turn to be somewhat dejected about my circumstances.

Jen and I have a brilliant relationship; we agreed years ago to:

1. Never hassle one another about keeping in touch, birthdays, etc.
2. Always tell the other what they want to hear. We have plenty of people in our lives for good advice, what we really need is someone to tell us we’re right…

Jen’s always been good at number one above, but never remembers the second rule when it comes to my girlfriends. On the plus side, she’s always believed in my talent and ability, and tonight was no exception. Frankly, I was a little down, and hanging out with her was a good pick-me-up; sometimes we all need a cheerleader in our lives. Thanks, Jen.